Pathways Counselling

Article

Article

“We forgive for our own sake”

We forgive for our own sake

‘Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are” Malcom Forbes. It’s the nature of life that we accumulate layers and layers of assumptions about ourselves which can often cover up the true essence of who we are. From the way we experience people treating us to the way we find ourselves approaching tasks, we come to conclusions about ourselves and our place in the world. Sadly, often many of these conclusions are based on erroneous information but they become true for us simply because we believe them to be so.

Often our negative beliefs about ourselves are stumbling blocks because we find it hard to forgive ourselves and move on.Forgiveness is the key.

Some basic understandings about the nature of forgiveness can help here. Forgiveness is never about saying that something that was unacceptable is now in fact acceptable, or has ever been acceptable. It is never about denying the gravity of what has been done. It is however about saying that you have grown bigger than that thing now – whether it is something someone else did, or something you did. It says that you are now capable of a much higher way of being – that you now have different and more worthy and noble values and that you speak therefore, a different emotional and spiritual language. It is saying that you have shed the unnecessary and burdensome sandbags of pain that you have been carrying around for however long, with no real purpose, other than the weight they impose on you. In the case of needing to forgive others, the very act of forgiveness states that you have recognised that the problem of the offence is actually not yours – it does not belong to you. It is stating clearly that you have recognised that it belongs to the other person and their spiritual work is not yours to do.

So forgiveness is about letting go of a useless burden. When you truly forgive, the reward is all yours. It leaves a void, and immediately, into that void, rushes a profound sense of dignity, of being worthy of consideration and of self respect. The other reward is love – borne out of an acceptance of yourself and others that has you at peace with your own humanness. It brings a love of yourself and a love of others that comes out of a humble understanding that we are all are capable of mistakes. It is a love that also provides the courage to move confidently toward a better future becauseit leaves us free to become aware of and to value who we are.

If you have an enquiry, please click on the link to go to our Enquiry Form page