A number of research studies during the past decade indicate that the happiest, most well-adjusted individuals are those who believe they have a measure of control over their lives. 

 

Typically these people choose appropriate responses to whatever happens and spend time planning and taking action in the present rather than wasting energy on regretting the past or fearing what might happen in the future. And in doing so they are prepared to take calculated risks. One of the greatest risks in life is to wait for and depend on others for your own security – whether that be a friend, a relative or a boss. The other biggest risk is in doing nothing. There is a saying ‘if there is no wind, row’. The greatest security is to plan and act and to take the calculated risk that will ultimately ensure your personal freedom to be your best self as well as your independence so that you have more control over your own life. If your intention is moral and your actions reflect this and you are engaging your best self, then you cannot go wrong. Being your best self today will make you even better tomorrow.

So what about the risk? Risk always carries with it the capacity for mistakes and it would seem as human beings, that we are highly motivated to avoid mistakes. We are scared of loss or associated shame. As always this is about the thoughts and consequent belief systems that we carry in our heads about mistakes. Negative belief always needs to have an antidote if we are to master it rather than have it master us. Think about it, the only mistakes we ever actually really make are the ones we don’t learn from. And often in that respect, our mistakes are our biggest gifts because the bigger the mistake the more likely we are to learn from it. Similarly the only person who never makes mistakes is the person who never does anything! Think about that!

Keeping the right mindset so that we endure the risks we need to take in order to establish the control we need over our lives is important. Feeding it is crucial to this process. It’s well known that ‘the self help book you don’t read won’t help you’. Work out what feeds your positive mindset and go for it. By thinking and acting affirmatively in each minute, you will influence the hour, the day, and in time, your entire life’.

Karen Buckland